You Always Have Chances to Try Again

It's been a long time since the last time I felt sad because I got bad score on my exam. Actually, I can't exactly remember that I ever feeling sad about it. When I was a student I just let it go if I had remedial on Math or Physics or Chemistry. May be, it's the first time I experience this sadness because I got bad score. I attended English course at LBI UI Salemba since 2 years ago. I started in General English (GE) level 6. My score was so-so back then. I got 60s, 70s, and 80s. And on GE 7 and GE 8, I improved. I got more 80s scores and I even got 100 for my reading skill, no more 60s score. After, I studied in GE 9 I find it harder, or my anxiety makes me feel that was harder than before. I also had lack of motivation. I skipped class more often than I ever did before. I also barely can't concentrate because I had a lot of things to do in my office. I know I didn't put enough effort on my mid test and I was afraid that I won't pass this term. But, the result is not as bad as I thought. I passed, but with the not-so-good score I ever had. I got 60s again. There are several 80s too but there's no more 90s or 100. I felt bad for minutes. I drowned in my own thought that says I am not good enough (again). One of my teacher gave me feedback for my study last Saturday, she said that my score is quite good, especially in writting and reading. She suggested me to practice more to improve my listening skill. She said that my score is good enough but for several minutes I think good enough is not enough. After that several minutes passed, I think again why I thought my score isn't enough? I know that I didn't give my best this term, not like two terms before, but I can try again next term, right? I wonder why I was feeling so devastated the moment I see 60s in my report. I thought 60s is same as failed. But, the fact is I passed. I think it's a kind of mindset that need to be repaired. I know that sometimes I afraid to do something because I am too afraid of making mistakes and failure. But, actually it's only my mind that make me think 60s is same as failed. Then, I make another precept for myself. I said to myself, "as long as you keep breathing, you always have chances to try again". Failure and mistakes are not a horrible thing. You can try to befriend with it. Yes, I think my fear of failure makes me crazy and makes me become more and more anxious even tough the result is never as bad as I afraid. I decided to stop feeding my fear and waste my time with anxiety. I'll keep that words in mind, as long as I keep breathing, I always have chances to try again.