It's Okay to be Grumpy. I am a Human too.

"I am so grumpy,  I am not even talking to myself." - Grumpy

Oh,  well I really wish that I can say it like Grumpy said,  'not even talking to my (very talkative) self'. But,  yeah I just can't.  If you know The Inside Out movie,  Riley has five emotions in her head.  I can say that I have some emotions too like Riley has,  but not just five, there are a lot of voices which never stop talking inside my mind. May be there are Joy,  Sadness,  Fear,  Disgust, and Anger. But,  I also have Dissapointment, Grumpy, Silly,  Kindness, Laughter, Happy etc,  etc.

I always try to make Joy and Kindness and Laughter and Happy leads my acts everyday.  I try to be positive wherever I go and whenever I want (yeah I want to laugh everytime tho). But,  when life knocked me down (a fight with family is the worst), Dissapointment and Grumpy start to take their leads. I started to be very sensitive during this past days. If you want any examples: I followed my lazy self,  I woke up with the burdens in my shoulder, and I started to think that 'I am useless', 'my parents don't even need me', 'my kindness and my sacrifices are meaningless', 'I hate myself', 'may be it's okay if I'm not going home, 'may be it's okay if I disappear', and other negative talks which can makes me feel more grumpy and more useless. (Thank you so much negative emotions :'))

I started to think that I don't have any purposes in this life again. I shed tears almost everytime. Negative vibes mobbed me and followed me all day long. Yeah,  you can called me lebay or something like that, but that's what I felt during past days. I almost try to googling 'the purpose of life'. What a silly. But, then I choose to read Conan to distract my mind instead to asked google about those silly things which can pottentially make me more sensitive. 

But, then I think again that I am a human too. "It's okay to feel dissapointed sometimes, it's okay to let the grumpy lead your acts sometimes. But, I must remember too that everything is just temporary, everything will be okay again."

And I also remember that Natasha in The Sun is Also a Star novel said, "You can have small mistakes, or medium mistakes. And sometimes you make a big mistake. Give up."

I don't really think that I can give up now.  Of course. I still have a tons of things that I haven't done yet, a tons of amazing things that I really want to do, a tons of hobbies which can make me excited again, and I still have a plenty of great books which I haven't read,  of course.

Yeah,  give up is not a wise choice tho.

And I found this quotes on Instagram not long ago,  "If someone does not want me it is not the end of the world. But,  if I do not want me,  the world is full of endings." May be I should say sorry to knocked myself down,  to fulfil myself with negative thoughts. I'm sorry and I promise to enjoy my life again like I used to be, to feel grateful everyday like I used to be, to acts random or do silly things and make everyone laugh like I used to be. 😆😆

May be some people will called me silly,  sok bijak,  or whatever they want. I just try to express my mind and my experience in a good way. 

It's okay to be sensitive or grumpy or dissapointed or sad sometimes. But,  don't forget to make any smiles and laughter and any kindness again when you are done playing with the negative emotions. 😃😃

And actually I don't think that I won't have any negative talks again. But,  at least this post will be my reminder if I take another wrong way.. 

Btw, I think it's my first post in English. So,  pardon my grammar if you don't mind.  😅😅